Escaping Neverland

All the roads and adventures taken
random moments
of exhaustion, misery
and the escaping ones of joy and passion
for the roads and the nights

on the verge, still, sometimes
of fleeing the cold world back to Neverland again
where everything is play
and the pirates are your best friends

For three years.

The time has come to escape Neverland
and say ciao to all the Peter Pans and Tinkerbellies
Could I keep the window open and let them visit at night?
Or just hear their stories and nevermind

---
No happy ending, but a sequel

Business as usual?

On my 3rd cup of instant moccha, reading newspaper from “home”. Why do they make doing business so difficult, so risky? Once you take the plunge, you’re out of most of the support systems (and those, there, are one of the most extensive ones on this earth). And if you fail (as many did in the recession before the upcoming one) you lose everything and are marked for 15 years, being banned from doing further business until your credit is good again.

So why even bother - it’s safer to just work on the clock of someone else, for their profit; at least you don’t lose your house that way. Or is it? These days that country has no good news anymore and people whose sense of self-worth depends on their employment status are laid off en masse - definitely not good in a country with history of ultra-puritan work ethics.

Talking to a friend on an island, I’m mapping my organizational relationships. There are many, past, present, fledgling and potential ones. Even though these networks of mine might not provide for a roof over my head (yet?), their fluidity, their dynamics, sustain MY sense of self-worth - quite opposite of past workplaces where belonging was glued by cash and meaning lost.

The key for my sustainable life here - or anywhere: how to pull the strings of my networks and help them sustain me as I sustain them, now that I’ve made choices towards which my former home is hostile.

Walls of future

I look at these walls
and wonder why am I here
the absurdity of it all
and the eternal emptiness to conquer

It’s oh so hard to just move on
when you’re still just barely there to BE
and the future is still all just promises

Sliding right back in

walking down the street of my everyday
random encounters from my past
beeping away with my bus, library, bank card
knowing how life was, is and "should" be
just by looking at faces of people passing by
like I never left



not really having missed it all, yet
there's some strange comfort in the familiar
but I prefer the new unknowns
since even with all the uncertainties and being tired of the road
I'd still rather choose the adventure